( polls)Your job's been eliminated, your condo's been foreclosed, and your Acura has been repo-ed.
Vote For Your Favorite Dow-Droppin' Gay Car Get some body colored paint and white-out the V-O-L-K and E-N on the tailgate, and you have the gayest truck in the world: the back of it will read S-W-A-G But, fortunately for those of you who don't like to give your pink dollars to the inventors of the pink triangle, this particular Vee-Dub was built in a domestic plant in Pennsylvania. But it gets about 45 m.p.g., looks weirdly stylish, and has a fully functional cargo bed. (bring your own everything), and will sit three across only if someone is inside the guy in the center position. This little baby is Economy Class all the way: it has only enough room inside for you and your carry-ons, is strictly B.Y.O.E. Thankfully, you can pick up one of these for about what dealers will be offering you for your gas-swilling, year-old Quad-Cab: a Volkswagen Rabbit Diesel Pickup. Fortunately, the economy's collapse coincides with the end of grass-growing season, so the only thing you need to cut is your fuel bill. But how much (ahem) equipment are you actually packing? A mower, a weed-whacker, some clippers, a few hand tools, a blower, and two or three pairs of nail scissors? Well, it's crunch-time, sister. You own a gay landscaping business, so you claim that you need a big truck.
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On the big-time plus side, it was one of the few vehicles ever to come equipped with an altimeter-that's a device that tells you how high you are above sea level-a feature which will come in especially handy during the next impending global catastrophic event: rising tides.Ĥ) Truck: 1981-1985 Volkswagen Rabbit Diesel Pickup More a poor-man's Toyota Land Cruiser than a budget Land Rover, the Trooper lives up to its name,(as long as you don't let it touch road salt if you do, start counting backwards from one and watch it dissolve).
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Built big and upright like a classic British safari vehicle, but with a tiny underpowered four-cylinder engine and a whining manual transmission, this is the first generation Isuzu Trooper. Fortunately, I've found a viable substitute.
But while the Land Rovers are durable enough to trek across African deserts, or be used as the lead vehicle in a tribal warlord parade, they're by necessity heavy and overbuilt, rendering them inefficient for our frugal times. They represent a gay fantasy of some mid-century, Graham Greene, closet-case, Ambassadorial lifestyle, with lots of slim suits, afternoon cocktail parties, and cute native pool boys. Everyone knows a fag who's bought (or lusted after) a vintage Land Rover.